U cAnT HaNdLe My MiNd

wow i suck at updateing huh?
i havnt updated in a looong ass tym..guess i didnt have much to update about oh well

work at marshalls is goin good i guess...its really boring and not really wat i wanna be doing but its good for now i guess...jus been chillin recently hangin out with katie alot cus shes moving to college soon :( makes me really sad...i feel so left out that all my friends are startin college and im not starting til januaury...oh well...wat can ya do?

i hear from shayne every so often...hes doin good....he makes me so nervous tho all tha stuff he tells me that hes goin thro..i feel so bad...i jus pray that he stays safe..its so hard only bein able to talk to eachother once every week or two and its only for lyk 20 min if were lucky...jus sux

me and katie went to get tarot card readings done yesterday...omg the woman was sooo fucking good...lyk i've gotton plenty of these done b4 and this jus amazed me...it was fucking crazy...she told me alot about me and shayne about our past nad our future but im not gunna get into that...she told me i was gunna get into modeling for alil while...she sed that i was gunna go to school for sumthing medical...which is true cus in januaury im goin to school to be a medical assistant and she sed i was gunna be great at this job but im not really gunna lyk it..its jus sumthing that im doin cus i feel lyk i cant do anything else. she sed sumthing leagaly was gunna happen in oct. i have no idea wat but i hope its not bad...and then she talked for lyk 20 min about sumthing else but i cant say wat it was so thats enough...she was soooo good tho...if anyone wants a tarot card reading done ask me about this woman cus she was fucking awesome

hmm...i really have nothing else to say...peace out

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: mariah carey ~ shake it off

as usual ppl suck ass but anyways...
so ya havnt really updated in while..right now im at shaynes house, house sittin while his family is in NH, im leaving on friday to go spend tha weekend with them. its easy all i hafta do is take tha dog out feed her and feed tha turtle..pretty easy

been working alot at marshalls i really like it alot. lyk it def has its really boring moments where i wanna lyk kill sumone but at otha tyms its not bad...sooo much betta then micky d's..tha pay is better too :) everyone at marshalls is really nice and funny...anyone feel free to come visit me anytym cus i used to go sooo many ppl that would visit me at micky d's and now no one comes to marshalls

tha otha day i woke up to find that my tires had been slashed..well not all of em but 3..who ever did that is a fucking asshole cus it coast me fucking $350 to fix...especially where 2 of tha tires they slashed were brand new that i jus paid $350 for those 2 months ago...i think i have an idea of who it was tho and if that person reads this i wants u to know ur a fucking pussy bitch and i hope sumone beats tha fuck outta u sumday soon..but no worries cus in tha end everyone gets wat they deserve

i finally talked to shayne 2day..hes doing good..he sed no fire fights yet and i really hope it stays that way...i would fucking loose my mind if anything ever happend to him..jus sux i miss him so fucking much...he sed as of right now hes due back sumtym in feb i realy really hope it stays that way..its really hard to know that hes over there every tym sumone brings up his name i get all teary eyed and theres this new show on FX called over there..i cant even watch tha previews without crying let alone watch tha show...jus sux..i want my baby home and safe with me.

any ways hafta do sumthings around tha house...peace out bitches!!

Current Mood: gloomy

im bored..wat can i say..lol
[IN YOUR ROOM]

1: What size is your bed?: twin
2: Is your floor carpeted?: yep
3: If so, what color is it?: um lyk a whiteish color kinda
4: Do you have posters on your walls? yep to many to name
5: huh?
6: Do you keep your room clean, or is there junk all over the floor? meh kinda clean jus to many cloths on tha floor
7: Are you allowed to eat in your room?: yep
8: How many times a day do you brush your teeth?: twice sumtyms 3 tyms
9: Do you take a shower daily?: waay to lazy for everyday
10: Do you wear perfume/cologne? not usually
11: Do you wear deodorant?:YES!

[ OUTSIDE ]

1: Do you go outside often?: i love being outside
2: Is your lawn green or brown?: i dont have a lawn
3: Do you have a patio in the back? i have a deck
4: Do you have a one or two (or more) car garage?: dont have a garage
5: How many trees are in your yard?: um..thats a dumb question

[ ABOUT YOU ]

1: Are you male or female?: on most days a girl..lol
2: Are you sure?: yep i would bet money on it
3: Do you have any piercings?: 3 in each ear, belly button, tongue
4: Are you single or dating?: engaged
5: Do you like your name?: ya cept its kinda a porn star name
6: Do you like lotion? um..ya i guess
7: Do you shave your legs?: i'd hope so..

[ MISC. ]

1: Is the sky really blue, or is it white with blue clouds? its only blue cus of tha ocean
2: Did that last question confuse you?: not really its one of those is tha glass half empty or half full kinda questions
3: Do you eat chocolate often?: not really i dont really like tha taste of it
4: Do you have a job?: yep, marshalls
5: Is your computer slow? YES! i need a new one
6: Have you ever wondered why there is bark on trees?: um no..never really crossed my mind
7: When you kick a tree, does it bruise the tree?: since they dont have blood vessles to break i'd say no but u might hurt its feelings..lol
8: What do you hear right now?: tha t.v. from tha otha room
9: What do you smell right now?: nothin really
10: Are you alone in the room?: yes
11: Are you at home?: yep

[NINE things I'm wearing]

1. my iceland pants
2. a black zipper up
3. a black tank top
4. bra
5. thong
6. shaynes dog tags
7. 2 rings
8. make up
9. an elastic holding up my hair

[EIGHT things on my Mind]

1. shayne
2. how i cant have sex for a yr..uuughh!
3. money
4. moving away
5. work
6. staying at shaynes house for a week w/o him there :(
7. my friends (who i barley talk to :( )
8. writting shayne a letter

[SEVEN items I Touch everyday]

1. my hair
2. my cloths
3. my phone
4. food
5. money
6. my keys
7. my car

[SIX things I Do everyday]

1. brush my teeth
2. sleep
3. talk on tha phone
4. talk online
5. pee
6. eat

[FIVE things I want to Do before I die]

1. bungie jump
2. marry shayne
3. have kids
4. run around naked
5. live life to the fullest

[FOUR things I will Never do]

1. eat a cockroach
2. stay alone in a dark room
3. cheat on shayne
4. be a sell out

[THREE things I Do when I wake up]

1. ask if i can go back to sleep
2. get food
3. brush my teeth

[TWO of my favorite foods]

1. manacotti!!!
2. chicken salad

[ONE person I love more than any other]

1. SHAYNE!!!

ya...this really blows
shayne left for iraq yesterday..that really sucked...i spent pretty much all night cryin...i really didnt realize that i wouldnt be able to talk to him until my phone never rang once 2day..that sucked sooo much...i miss him soo much its crazy..all i want is to be with him :( at this point tho all i can do is pray that he stays safe...it was so surreal that he was goin..i always knew that it was coming but then when it actually came..it was really lyk whoa...i want these next 8 or so months to jus fly by so we can be 2gether again

marshalls called and gave me my hours im gunna be working...they gave me 37 hours for one week..i was lyk holy fuck...i've never worked that much...tha most i've worked was 30 and that was only twice its good tho cus i owe my mom $170 so that will give me enough to pay her and still have alil money in my pocket...hopefully i get hours lyk that all summer...tha job doesnt seem bad tho...def a million tyms better then micky d's and all tha ppl that work there seem really nice so theres another plus

2day i got outta bed went and got a drink and then got back into bed when i hear a knock on my door and im lyk um okay...so i open it and there was greg...and was lyk um why are u here? and he was lyk a whole bunch of us are goin to tha beach...get up get ready and lets go...i was lyk oh fuckin figures im doin nothin AAALLLL week long and tha one day i hafta babysit u invite me to tha beach..so that sucked not bein able to go..so i talked to him for lyk an hour about random shit and then left to go babysit my nephew...alex is gettin so big its crazy...hes growin soo fast...hes only 2 months old and he really alert and always smiling and making lil baby talking noises...its so much fun watchin him...i hafta babysit him 2morrow to from 7:45 til 3...uuuggghh waking up at 7 is gunna be horrible...i had to get up at 9 tha otha day for work and i wanted to kill myself...7 is really gunna suck

anyways im out hafta be up early 2morrow..peace out

Current Mood: gloomy

.....
2day was pretty cool...woke up...then went to tha beach with melissa...we got there and it was soooo hot out even at tha beach where its susposed to be cooler by tha water...lyk even if u dont lyk tha water u had no choice but to go in or else u would die..there were surprisingly alotta ppl there...stupidly i didnt put any sunblock cus i usually dont burn...it pays to be mostly all italian :)...so i put on this dark tanning shit that my mom uses and i came out soooo dark..tha only thing that got alil burned was my sholders but my arms and shit got soo much color..then we went to get icecream b4 we left and it was so hot out that it was all mushy and as soon as tha lady handed it to me is fell off tha cone and all down my chest and all ova my feet..ya that kinda sucked but w/e so then i had to go back in tha water to wash it off..oh well but all in all it was a really fun day :)

while i was at tha beach i got a call from marshalls and they gave me a job **smiles** i have been outta work for way to long that i jus wanna lyk indulge myself in it and work lyk a billion hours a week..im so sick of not having any money..i still owe my mom $170 for my insurance and tha rest of my phone bill..that def blows...so i start workin again 2morrow..im so excited

i had my deposition for tha law suit on monday...i had to be recorded and sworn in and everything and taped while i was givin it..i was soo nervous..tha accident will have been 3 yrs ago this sept and they were askin me for all these details and everything so that was kinda hard to memba all that stuff but my lawyer sed i did really good so im hopeing for a good outcome :)

shayne leaves 2morrow night for iraq..that makes me soo sad...if i cant be with him in person i look forward to his calls everynight and now i dont even get that...afta 2morrow i have no idea when i'll be able to even talk to him again :( im doin good tho on bein emotional it jus sux soo bad i dunno wat i will do if anything happens to him while hes there..he sed to me tha otha night that he doesnt know how im really sure that i love him and that im to younge to know wat love really is...okay i've faithful to him tha whole tym hes been gone...i barley even talk to otha guys at all...im gunna marry him when he comes home..i do everything for him and im willing to wait another 7-14 months for him to come home...on top of everything else if that isnt love can sumone please tell me what love really is then? but it doesnt matter to me if people think "i really dont know wat love is" cus in my heart i know i love him more then life its self..i would wait forever for him if i had to

im out tho...gnyt all..peace

Current Mood: worried

wow were to start!!
so last sunday i wanna say shayne called me and sed that he bro might be driving down to North Carolina to come and see him...and i was lyk OMG i wanna go!!! but his brother billy was tryin to keep it a surpriseso he wouldnt tell him he was def comin...so on tuesday jus to see if i could go i called billy to see if he was goin or not..and this was prolly around lyk 7...but all i got was his voicemail so i left a message askin him to call me back...so at lyk 8:15 he called me and i was lyk jus wonderin are u goin to see shayne soon and he was lyk actually ya and were leaving 2nyt and i was lyk OMG!! YOU ARE!!! can i come with u? and sed that tha car could only hold 4 ppl and him his gf melissa and 2 brothers zach and justin were already goin...so i got all sad but then he sed that he couldnt get ahold of justin so he wasnt sure if he was goin and he was lyk i'll call u back as soon as i talk to justin and if he doesnt go u can take his place...so i got all excited and antzy thinkin there was a chance i was gunna get to go see shayne..and at lyk 9:15 i couldnt take it anymore and i called billy back nad he was lyk okay justins not goin so u can...i got sooo excited..and he was lyk u hafta be at funway by 10 or else were leaving...mind u i was in easton at my sisters house when i got this call so i had 45 min to bring katie to rick in stoughton so he could bring her home, go to my house in canton get all my shit packed and then get to funway in foxboro..not easy..but i did it :) then at lyk 1030 we left to go to NC

shayne didnt think his brother was goin there until wed night so i called shayne at lyk 10 as i got to funway and he was lyk wat are u doin and i was lyk im goin to my house to get cloths cus im gunna sleep ova katies..and he was lyk oh did u talk to my brother and i was lyk ya he sed he was gunna come down there but he couldnt get outta work so now he cant..and shayne got all sad and was lyk hes a fucking liar and he was lyk ok fine watever im goin to bed so i sed good night and i love you...i felt sooooo bad lieing to him but i wanted so bad to make it a surprise...so we drove all night and got to NC jus b4 shayne was gettin off work...we went to tha base and herd shayne yellin at ppl and then he walked across tha balcony looked at us and kept walkin..then he turned around and was lyk oh shit nad came and gave us all huges and me kisses :) omg he looked soooooo fucking hot in his cami's im not even gunna get into wat i wanted to do to him when i saw him..lol...anyways....

that day we were gunna go to tha beach but b4 shayne got off work it started POURING out lyk really bad...so we took zach to get a hair cut...went to tha mall...and then went back to tha hotel and by that tym it was nice out so we went swimmin in tha pool...then afta that we chilled at tha hotel...and me and shayne had sum good tyms...**wink wink** lol...then we all went to sleep and shayne had to get up at 4 cus he had to clean his room b4 they checked it at 5:30...so that kinda sucked...but then we picked him up at 12 when he got off work...and we were gunna go to tha beach again..but figures...started raining again...so we went bowling..that was fun...me and shayne tied in scores almost everytym..i was lyk wat tha hell...i shoulda kicked his ass...then when we were done it was nice out again so we went around base and looked at all tha tanks and stuff...then we went to tha beach...me and shayne walked tha boardwalk and sum guy cought alil sand shark..so afta that i was scared to go swimming...then we went and got changed...and went out to dinna...afta dinna we dropped shayne off at tha base and we left to go home...afta i got home i was susposed to leave again to pick shayne up in pensylvania (sp?) cus his friend was gunna drive him there but then i ended up gettin sick and had to go to tha emergency room so i couldnt so that sucked..and then his friend ended up not driving him anyways :(

i was really sad that he couldnt come home for tha weekend...but im really happy i got to see him those 2 days b4 he left...i love that kid sooooo fucking much its not even funny..i love everything about him..even when hes bein an ass i still love him with all my heart...i want these next 8 months to go by really fast so he can come home again...jus sux that he has to go :(

Current Mood: blah

people really need to mind there own fuckin business
last night i went to tha brockton fair with katie...that was alotta fun..it was jus cold as a motha fucka out there...thats tha only part that sucked but otha then that it was fun...katie and rick i guess are gettin really close...i've been hearin stories..katie u dirty girl..lol

im so pumped i myt be goin to see shayne nex weekend :) **smiles** tha only thing that sux is that it will be another goodbye in tha end which really blows but im still happy i'll be able to see him...sum ppl have been runnin there mouths about me and shayne gettin married...honestly bitch wat does wat me and shayne do in OUR lives not URS have to do with you...jus mind ur fucking business...i mean seriously im not tryin to sound lyk a bitch..but u chill with shayne once outta lyk tha past year and u really think u have the right to voice your opinion about what we do...nope u dont...so jus keep it to urself

thats one thing i really fucking hate is when ppl say shit about sumthin that really has nothing to do with them..thats why i cant wait for me and shayne to get married so i can move to north carolina with him and get away from bullshit...we were talking 2day about our house and wat were gunna do with it and everything and i honestly cant wait **smiles again** i gettin so excited

anyways my fiance yes i sed FIANCE jus called so im out...peace

Current Mood: chipper

ya im not gunna lie...this fucking sux
so shayne left yesterday...def sux really really bad...i would honestly give anything to have him back home again :(

sunday was his goin away party at his dads house..it was so much fun..his whole family was there which was kool..tha only one of his canton friends that came was greg tho which i thought was kinda wierd but seein as how hes one of tha few i like i didnt mind...shayne and greg started wresteling and it didnt end to well..they both were bleeding and shit and shayne had lyk hicky marks all ova his neck and greg fucked up his hand but they had fun so im sure thats all that mattas...lol then afta that we left and went to tha fireworks in franklin...they were good...and then all this shit went down with his friends that sucked...then monday was his goin away party at his moms house and that was fun too..there was a huge water fight..and then we left afta alil while and went tubeing on his friends boat..that was soo much fun..i hadnt been tubeing in a long tym..i got my shit fucked up tho..i think every inch of my body hurts now..lol...then we went to tha fireworks in bellingham and they were sooooooo good..lyk i dont think i've ever seen better fireworks...b4 we went tubeing we were in tha car and shayne asked me to marry him..and ofcorse i sed yes...i love him soo fucking much...its so weird thinking that next tym he comes home i'll be married...but i cant even imagine me with out him..thats why its killing me that hes leaving for iraq in 9 days...jus tha thought that sumthing could happen to him jus sux really really bad...b4 he left tho there was soo much drama with him mom...it sucked so bad..it really killed his last night home..then i wasnt even aloud to go to tha airport to say goodbye to him..so at lyk 5 in tha mornin i sed bye outside his moms house and that sucked soooo much..i was so good about cryin tha whole night cus he hates when i cry but when it came down to those last few min...i jus lost it..i dont think i've cried so hard in a long tym

now that hes gone its jus kinda lyk..damn..i dunno it really fucking sux tho...it was lyk a tease having him home..i want him back soo bad..lyk while he was home i hated bein away from him for jus an hour and now hes gunna be gone for atleast 7 months..if not more...i hate that thought all i know is these 7months better go bye so fucking fast

i think 2morrow me and katie are goin to tha brockton fair..so mayb that will help me get my mind off things for awhile...should be a good tym..anyways im out..peace

i love you shayne sooo much baby..u better come home to me safe..**MWAH**

Current Mood: crappy

holy shit i havnt updated in awhile
i havnt updated in soo long its crazy...anyways...

SHAYNE IS HOME!!!!!!!

shayne came home on saturday tha 18th...i was sooo happy when i saw him..yep i cried..i knew i would...my mom cried..it was an emotional situation...but it was good..then we went to his moms house and took his lil brother zach to funway ..then greg met us there and we all rode tha go-carts and everything...it was fun..then i slept ova his house..afta that this week has gone by really fast...last monday he did sum really fucked up shit that i was really really pissed about and almost ended our relationship but afta we talked it out i 4gave him...hes lucky i love him so much..no other girl would have stayed with him afta wat he did...he says i ova reacted about it but then sumthin happend with this otha kid he knows and his gurl on lyk thursday night which 100% prooved i didnt overracted...anyways..its in tha past tho..im ova it..i think..i dunno it still sux

nuff about that...saturday was my graduation party..it was alotta fun...i got lyk almost $700 it was lyk woo-hoo!!! lol...its def money much needed...afta me shayne katie greg and chris went back to gregs house and well i cant speak for anyone else but i got all kinds of fucked up...i think katie did too..lol...oh well it was our graduation presents to ourselves..we deserved it..lol shaynes been sleepin ova my house pretty much everynight this week...at first my mom sed he was only aloud to sleep on my floor but afta tha first night he started sleepin in my bed and she didnt care..that def excited me :) yesterday me shayne greg and andy went to tha beach..it was alotta fun...andy and greg were lookin at girls tha whole tym...and me and shayne went in tha water and i told him i didnt wanna go in so he picked me up and jus dropped me right in...i was alil mad but it was really funny so i didnt care

last night was haleys last night in mass so me and shayne took her out to funway...we played mini golf and then went in tha bumper boats...shayne and his lil brother started gangin up on haley so i had to get in and save her...i dominated shayne...he got soaked..it was really funny..then he got mad that i beat him so he dumped tons of water on me...i was ready to kill him...but it was still fun...haley had a good tym so i was happy...then me and shayne slept til lyk 2 2day..that felt good

ahhh its soo good to have shayne home..i've missed him sooo much...i dont want him to go back at all...i love him soo much its really not even funny...every once and awhile outta no where he'll be lyk ya no steph im really gunna miss you when i leave and then he'll give me a kiss..and that right there is really wat gets me...i mean it was so hard him being away since january and now knowing hes gunna be gone for so much longer and this tym hes gunna be in iraq...it jus kills me...i dont wat july 5th to come at all...this week has already gone by so fast that i know this next week is gunna go by even faster and that kills me...i jus hope this year goes by so fast so i can see him again...anyways..im out...peace fuckers

Current Mood: hopeful

this week has been crazy
so ya this will prolly be a long entry cus i havnt updated in awhile...

to start things off...prom was tuesday...that was alotta fun..everything that u could think of went wrong during tha day..but w/e prom was still a good tym...mardi gras was a gentlemen tha whole tym...there were points where there would be a slow song want i wanted soo bad to be in shaynes arms..lyk couples would kiss while dancing and i wanted that sOoOoO bad...b4 prom when i was gettin my hair and make up done i started crying cus i wanted shayne to be there so bad..katie had to calm me down so tha lady could finish my make up..but once i was at tha prom i had a good tym

then wed we had senoir night at school...that was a pretty good tym..we got our year books..i saw my blurb and my pic and shit..everyones senior pics came out soo good..we watched tha slideshow and they were susposed to be pics of us of all four years but they were mostly senior year...meh watever

then thursday..I GRADUATED!!! omg it felt so good to put on my cap and gown and walk tha stage...tha ceremony took forever tho...and at first it was soooo hot...but then finally i got my diploma..it felt so good to finally get it...but its jus startin to now hit me that school is really ova...lyk its still hard to believe it...at this point im lyk wwhhooaa i dunno its jus really weird

we had tha ova night graduation party and that was SOOOOO much fun..lyk at first it was kinda lame but they had TONS of food there and they had 3 bouncy things, a henna tattoo artist, a t-shirt maker, and typnotist, and alotta otha shit, and they were rafeling off prizes i won $50 in gas cards. but there were lyk 4 mini ipods, 3 dvd players, a mini fridge and so much more shit they were givin away..it was crazy...at lyk 230 me kristen katie lori and rob went outside and jus all chilled and talked...it was alotta fun we ended up stayin out there and talking til lyk 430 then at 5 we all left...as we were leaving i got sad cus i was thinking about it and none of those people really know the real me...they got the "i heard" side of me but not really me..and it jus sux that im gunna be remembered as tha bitch that no one liked..i dunno i jus wish things could have different.

so shayne comes home in 6 days!!!! i honesly can not fucking wait..im getting so excited...its making me so sad tho cus as much as im happy hes coming home i know im gunna be lyk 50 times more sad when he leaves...lyk this tym when he leave hes not goin to NC where i can go visit him hes going to war where he could end loosing his life...its jus so hard knowing that in tha back of my mind...i wish he could jus come home and stay here...i already know when i see him nex saturday im gunna cry lyk a 2 yr old baby..i've been looking forward to that day soo much...it really lyk boogles my mind how much i love him...i've never felt lyk this tords anyone b4...i fell lyk even if i wanted to i couldnt bring myself to leave him...and as much as he might piss me off sumtyms i would be soo heartbroken if he ever left me i've been acting kinda bitchy tords him recently..but i really dont mean it...its jus i miss him soo much and i hear him talk about how he had such a good tym doin this with that person and i get so jelous cus i want more then anything for him to be with me having that great tym..and i dunno wat to do about it so tha only way i know how to react is to be an asshole to him...fucking sux

i jus dont want to say goodbye :(

Current Mood: gloomy

2nyt was fun...for once!!! :)
2day was a really good day which i really needed...

got up went tanning..it was really relaxing :) then brought katie her keys that she left in my car last night..then went to work..it wasnt a bad day..it was kinda dead and tym went by really fast..i was susposed to stay til 5 but riesha came in at 2 and stayed for me..which i really love her for..then i went to ryans grad party...it was a pretty good tym...jus sooooo fucking hot out...i was fucking sweating my balls off..well if i had balls to sweat off..lol..anyways..then i went home for alil while and got into alil fight with shayne but it was okay we worked things out...my mom gave him permission to marry me when he gets back from iraq which i wasnt expecting at all..and wat was wired is that she was tha one who suggested it..then me katie and dennis went to brians grad party..it was fun..we watched scary movie 2..mad funny..jus had to add that...then me and katie jumped on tha trampolin (sp?) and then me katie dennis and a few otha ppl sat outfront talking..i mostly talked to katie and dennis..hes really nice..i def approve of katie liking him :) then i came home and talked to my baby

speaking of him..he comes home in 13 days..thats it just 13 days!!!! i cant wait..u guys have no idea how bad i want him to come home..when i see him im jus gunna run up and jump on him and give him tha biggest hug and kiss..i cant wait!! fuckin 3 and a half months is way to fucking long to not see tha one person u love..even katie says she misses him...OMG I CANT WAIT! im gettin so excited..as much as we might fight..i really do love him sooo much...him coming home is so bitter sweet tho cus hes leaving for along tym this tym..its kinda lyk i want him to leave nad get it ova with jus so he can come home to me again..him being in north carolina is hard enough tho...him being in iraq is gunna be fucking horrible...sux sooo bad...but was can ya do...such is life..right? oh well :(

proms on tuesday...should be a good tym..were not gettin a limo tho..to expensive..but w/e its all good..i dont really care..then graduation is on thursday...i cant wait!! im so pumped..i get my cap and gown 2morrow..im def excited...i jus cant wait to finally walk across tha stage..i've gone to graduation every year and now its finally my turn..woo hoo!!! :)

anyways my baby called..so im out..peace

Current Mood: crazy

this was suposed to be tha best yr..... right?
so ya..lets jus start things off with im in a really bad mood...dunno wat bout i jus am

schools finally ova...feel so good to be sleeping in my nice warm bed while everyone else is in school...haha fuckers! anyways...i dropped all tha shit off to school that i had to so im finally done..then when i went into my bio class sum sophmores started talkin shit about me lyk i wasnts standing there...w/e jus gives me more of a reason to get as far away from canton as i possibly can

i miss shayne sooo much its crazy...lyk its really really startin to get to me that i cant see him..he keeps talkin bout this awesome weekend that he had and its really pissin me off...cus i know if i had a great weekend it would have sucked cus he wasnt there...and i keep askin him to not talk bout it cus it makes me upset but sure enough everytym were on tha phone he has to mention it...its turnin me into such a bitch cus i wanna be with him soo bad...i hate this soooo much i want things to go back to how they used to be so bad

kinda pissed about sumthin that im not gunna get into cus i dont feel lyk causing a fight but katie knows wat im talkin bout...its straight tho cus i can be jus lyk her if thats how she wants things to be

i been hanging out with katies friend jacqui alot recently..shes nice...at first i was kinda lyk eh about her but now i think shes really nice...guess u jus hafta get to know people b4 u an judge them

im in tha type of mood right now where i wanna runaway and not look back but i know i would never..i think i jus need a vacation for alil while and get away from here...in july im gunna go to florida for alil while..i cant wait for that...im kinda sad tho cus louie teresa nad ty are moving down there..once there gone things jus wont be tha same...sux...lyk they always talked about moving to florida and i never thought it was actually happen tho and now it is :( there house is already sold nad everything...i wanna go with them sooo bad but my mom would kill me so i cant

in a few years tho me and shayne are gunna move there...he wants to move to maine but i am not taking no for an answer..im def moving to florida...i've wanted to move there all my life so im goin to!! u hear that shayne we're going!!!!

guess thats enough for now...peace fuckers

i love you shayne soooo much shnookums..i miss you so much baby!!!!!! **MWAH**

Current Mood: horny

why do i always wait lyk a yr to update my journal?
so as usual i waited lyk a year to update this shiznit again..im jus lazy..i used to update lyk everyday but now its lyk every 2 or 3 weeks...w/e tho

schools so close to being over with..omg i cant wait! i have the rest of this week and monday and tuesday of nex week :) i feel so wierd that its so close to being dont with..i really dont feel lyk i should be graduating...kinda creepy...i dunno im def happy tho

saturday was very eventful...first i went to shaynes aunts babyshower...she got sooo much shiznit it was crazy...i was lyk omg! it took her an hour and a half to open all tha stuff...when i got there i wasnt payin attention and i was grabbing my stuff outta my car and accidently locked my keys inside...so that kinda sucked...mary had to drive me home to get tha spair key from my mom and then drive me back to get my car...i felt lyk such a dumbass cus not only did i lock then in tha car but i left them in tha ignition..i was lyk ur so stupid!! but any ways then afta i was jus chillin talkin to katie on tha phone when my cell rings nad i was lyk hmm..who could this be..and it was keith...i was lyk wat tha hell why is he calling me..i havnt talked to this kid since lyk we broke up..and he started talkin shit sayin shayne was a bitch and i was a hoe and all that shit..and then when i started talking shit back he sed he was right down tha street from my house and was gunna come and fuck me up so i got scared and called shayne but his cell was off...so i called gras and he sed that he would be at my house in lyk 20 min so i called shaynes step mom mary and she came down to my house and she was soo funny she was lyk where is he im gunna fight him and all this shit..i was dying...shes so awesome...then gras got there and we were all in my parking lot seein if he would show up but he jus kept calling my cell talking shit so gras left afta alil while nad i went to shaynes house to wait till my mom got home but she got home to late so i jus ended up sleeping ova...i got to sleep in shaynes bed which was really depressing cus he wasnt there :( but its all good i guess

that brings me to tha topic of keith..that kids such a fucking homo...he really needs to get a life and stay tha fuck outta mine..keith its okay i understand that ur jealous that shayne can give me what you never could...emotionally and physicly...im sorry hunny u jus were never any good...AT ALL! i guess thats why u usually stay to 14 yr olds cus they dont realize how much u suck..lol

2morrow afta school im goin to pick up my prom dress...i cant wait for prom...well not really prom itself i jus wanna put on my dress nad get my hair done and look all pretty...i cant wait...im goin to my prom with mardi gras...should be a good tym we've been friends for a long tym now...hes def a really kool kid so im sure it will be fun...shaynes not to happy that im goin to prom with another guy but hes not home so i had no choice...but i promised him nothing would happen so nothing is gunna happen...i could never hurt shayne that way...i know wat it feels lyk and i would never wanna do that back to him

shayne comes home in exacly one month...i can not wait..omg i think bout it lyk 20 billion tyms a day...i can not wait til i get to see him...i honestly dont wanna leave his side tha whole tym he's home...omg june 18th needs to be lyk 2morrow..i feel lyk i did when i went to north carolina to see him how i had lyk a count down till i got to leave to see him..i have a count down now..lol..as of right now i havnt seen him in 3 and a half months..and buy tha tym he comes home it will have been almost 5 months since i've seen him...its okay tho..its kinda good practice for when i cant see him for lyk almost a year..that sux so bad..lyk now i have in my mind that hes jus doing training so he'll call every night..when hes in iraq im gunna be so scared that sumthin will happen to him nad i wont have tha comfort factor that hes gunna call...i was reading in tha paper that this guy who was serving in iraq called his family to tell them he was coming home and a week nad tha next day he got shot and died...i would loose if that ever happend to shayne...AHH I WANT HIM HOME NOW!!!

well its late so im off to bed..peace fuckers

Current Mood: content
Current Music: nelly - over and over again

its a boy!!!
krissi had her baby on wednesday..his name is alex..7lbs 15 oz. 20" hes soo fucking cute to..i went to see him tha day he was born...he was so little and i was holding him...i didnt wanna give him back i cant wait til he comes home and i get to babysit him...i can already tell him gunna spoil him soo bad..jus lyk i used to spoil haley lyk crazy...i miss her so much too..i cant wait til i can go visit her again..melissa found out that shes pregnant again...another niece or nephew that i get to spoil :) tha only thing that sux is i want b there to spent tym with it :( makes me sad...i wish my sister never moved to florida

last night was crazy..not gunna get into detail but it was def an interesting night

my cell phone is really pissin me off...lyk it doesnt let calls go through half tha tym and lyk it will say i have a new voicemail so i will check it and it will say no new messages...im at tha point where im bout to throw it against a wall..i cant wait for my contract to be up so i can get a new phone

i have 12 days til schools ova..i feel so weird that im not gunna be in highschool ne more..and that im graduating and shit...i feel lyk it all came to fast...kinda freaks me out...but im still excited to be finally able to walk tha stage and get my diploma nad shit

shayne comes home soon..im sooo excited..i miss him lyk wat...i jus wanna be able to hug him and kiss him and everything...its almost as if i dont want it to come cus that jus means im gunna hafta say goodbye again :( im gunna be a wreck tha say he leaves...makes me so sad thinking that hes goin to iraq and i wont be able to see him for lyk almost a yr...i love him so much its crazy...lyk i've never loved ne one tha way that i love him...he wants to get married when he gets home from iraq..and i wanna marry him to but i know my family will freak cus im so young...but i know that i love him and if they want me to be happy then they'll hafta deal

sum stupid bitch is starting shit with me and katie..callin us whores and shit lyk that..when we did NOTHING to her in tha first place...she better fucking watch herself b4 she starts shit she cant handle...fuckin stupid cunt...shes jus jealous cus shes a fat ugly bitch

ne ways im gettin pissed so im out..peace

Current Mood: crappy

.....
so i thought i was workin 11-7 2day but turns out im workin 12-7...still sux but its better then bein there for an extra hour...i talked on tha phone with mary shaynes step mom from lyk 1030 til lyk 130 last night...i also talked to shayne for lyk 2 min but his phone died and theres no plug outlits where he is in cali so i dunno if i'll be able to talk to him for awhile :( sux soo fuckin bad...that was tha one thing that kept me sane with him bein gone is to hear him tell me he loves me at night...even if its only ova tha phone...but im jus gunna try and keep busy so tym goes by really fast and its tha end of may so he can finally come home...i really miss him lyk crazy

while i was talkin to mary she sed that she was gunna get me a job at blue cross blue shield...i was so pumped...i'll be making lyk $12 an hr to start...i get full benifits...3 weeks paid vacation a yr and 2 personal days a yr...and if u go to school and get higher then a c for ur grades...they give u back 80% or ur tuition...that job sounds even to good to be tru...thats goin from making $100 a week at micky d's if im lucky to lyk atleast $350 a week...tha only thing is i hafta wait till i graduate to work there..but thats kinda good cus that means i can start ova tha summer...im so excited now :)

i had a dream bout shyane tha otha night...in it it was tha tym that shayne was susposed to be coming home from iraq and mary called me and was lyk come ova right now! nad i thought that shayne was home and he was tryin to surprise me and then when i got there mary was all sad and cryin and i was lyk wats goin on and she was lyk we jus got a letter that shayne died in combat nad i started freakin out and was lyk its not tru i know its not..hes gunna call my cell phone and tell me hes okay...and lyk 3 days when by in my dream and all i did was sit on my bed with my cell phone in my hand waiting for him to call me...and i was so upset and in such disbelief that i couldnt even cry...omg it felt so real and i woke up lyk all sweaty and my heart was racing...that better not ever happen!!!! i dont ever want a dream lyk that ever again either

melissa (shaynes sister) starts at micky d's nex week...shes really kool so it will be fun havin her workin there...shayne doesnt want her to work there cus he says its a shitty job...but honestly if u dont have bills or ne thing and u jus want sum xtra cash...lyk her...its a good job...plus its her first job and shes jus tryin to get sum expirience...so i think it will be good for her jus as long as she doesnt stay there for 2 yrs like me

if i get this new job its gunna be so wierd not workin at micky d's ne more..i've been workin there since i was 15..its jus gunna be so weird...its good tho that im leaving

ne ways gotta get back to work..peace out

i love you shayne soooo much!!!! you better always come home safe to me!!!!

Current Mood: anxious

wow i havnt updated in lyk a year....oops..lol
nothin major has happended recently...same old shit different day as usual...i want sumthin new and exciting to happen...where im jus lyk OMG THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

lyk 21 days of school left...i cant wait...i hafta write my research paper for english tho b4 i can graduate...im having such a tough time comin up with a thesis tho...its really really startin to stress me out...i jus cant wait for may 6th to come when i pass tha paper in and dont hafta worry bout it ne more...we got report cards tha otha day...if i didnt fail AP bio then i would have had tha best report card that i've ever gotton...all of my other grades were b's cept one c+

im really really sad...shayne cant go to my prom...when he told me all i wanted to do was cry...ever since i was little i've been thinking bout my sr prom and how i wanted it to be tha best night ever with sumone i really care bout...but now shayne cant go :( my friends are havin issues with there dates to so i think its jus gunna be a good night for me and my friends to spend 2gether as lyk our last high school event besides graduation....i've been thinking bout it alot lately and im really sad that me lori kristen and katie arnt gunna be 2gether next year...i mean its always tha 4 of us..were always 2gether in school and on tha weekends and shit...its gunna be so different next year and i hate that...i wish tha 4 of us were goin to tha same college...but on tha bright side..were all bestfriends i no we'll still hang out and stuff..so its not that bad

so shayne leaves 2nyt at 4 in tha mornin for california...he cant talk to me as much there so thats makin me really sad...its so hard to be so far from sumone u love so much...he gave me sum good news..sum bad new and... sum worse tha otha day...tha good news was that hes comin home at tha end of may tha had news was that its only for 6 days..and tha worse news is lyk a week afta he leaves here he has to go to iraq...i really really dont want him to go...if ne thing were to happen to him i really wouldnt be able to handle it...i cant even thing bout him goin over there without cryin...i jus want him to come home were i no hes safe...i hate him being away so much..i jus wanna be able to hug him and kiss him...or even to look into his eyes....i jus miss everything...last night we talked on tha phone til like 1 in tha mornin and it was such a good conversation...im gunna miss that so much...i love him so much its crazy...lyk tha first time i was in love i never thought i would find sumone that i loved more then him and once we broke up that scared me so much cus i thought i would never have that feeling ever again...but shayne give me that feeling plus so much more..its crazy...it makes me so happy but at tha same time so sad cus it makes me miss him so much :( im gunna stop there for 2day cus im gettin really emotional

me and katie chill last night...we spent sum tym jus walkin around cus when we were younger we used to do that ALL tha time and we never do it since we got cars...that was fun we jus talked bout everything...then tha kid that lives nex door sed he was havin a party so we went ova there and it was kool or w/e but we didnt know ne one really so we kinda stood in tha back and did nothing so afta lyk a half hour we left...it was okay tho me and katie havnt done ne thing for awhile so i had fun

ne ways im out for now...peace

Current Mood: hungry

blah
dont really feel lyk updatin...kinda in a bad mood but w/e

i bought my prom dress last week..its really pretty..it looks like a wedding dress...i cant wait for prom now...i jus really really really hope shayne gets to come home for it...its gunna suck so bad if he cant :(

me and katie got tarot card readings done 2day...they mostly talked bout me and shayne...sed alotta good stuff...i was really happy..dont wanna get into details cus i really lyked wat she sed nad i dont wanna take ne chances of ruining it happenin..they sed sum really good stuff for katie too

got a letter from bridgewater 2day....yep didnt get in..im really sad too..i wanted to go there soo bad its not even funny...i cried...my mom cried....im sad but i guess i'll get ova it..i have other options it jus sux so bad how much i wanted to go there...i didnt even apply ne where else cus i wanted it so bad..but i guess thats life nad everything happens for a reason

ne ways..im out..peace

Current Mood: gloomy

chiilllinnn
yesterday my entry was kinda short..i had this whole plan of writtin this whole entry while my pizza cooked but then i got side tracked and b4 i new it tha pizza was done so i was lyk w/e im hungry..hehe

so nothin good has really happend recently...katie comes home from florida 2nyt..im excited :) ummm school is gay...everyone is talkin bout me and shayne...hes not even in this state ne more and i dont talk to anyone cept for lori kristen and katie..so i really see why ppl even concider it there business to talk bout me...i mean seriously im not tryin to sound lyk a bitch at all...and its not lyk ppl are talkin shit or ne thing..well cept for one skanky bitch hoe who i wont mention names but i cant stand her and i want tha day to come where she says sumthin to me and i fuck her up...but ne ways...everyones sayin that me and shayne are engaged...its complicated..we kinda are cus i no that i always wanna be with him and he says he always wants to be with me...but were not offically "engaged"...but i dont understand why ppl care so much...even if we really were engaged...would it really effect ur life that much that u hafta turn in to 15 yr old gossiping girls...i mean come on now...grow up

lori finally got her car...YAY!! shes mobil!!! shes been waitin forever for this is im happy for her. i had detention 2day...thats same bitch was in it...i wanna rub it in her face so bad that me and shayne are 2gether and not only did she never have a chance but she never will...UUGGGHHH i really hate her!!!

schools so close to being done...we have lyk alil under 40 days left...thats so sick u have no idea :) finally i'll be done with canton high 4ever and i never have to look back at it!!!

i think me nad katie are goin out on friday to look at prom dresses so if ne of u no ne good places to get one lemme no..im not gunna settle for ne thing less then the perfect dress...when i put my dress on i wanna lyk hear angles sing...lol for my SR prom i want everything to be perfect...i cant wait!!

ugh were seriously gettin more snow 2nyt...wat tha hell..its susposed to be spring!!! NO MORE SNOW!! tha only good thing will be if schools cancled 2morrow...cus we dont hafta make up ne snow days..ahh i love bein a senior!!

ne ways my shnookums should be call me...peace and love

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: faith - twista

waitin for mah pizza!!
right now im waitin for my pizza to cook...mmmm pizza!!

uughh i miss shayne soooo much its not even funny...that one chance i got to see him made me want to be with him so much more...2day me and his sister melissa went to tha mall and i bought shayne sumthins for easter..i bought him the biker boys dvd, saving private ryan dvd, reeses peanut butter cups, and he sed he wanted a kiss from me so i bought him a giant herseys kiss...i thought it was a cute idea...i also bought in a card...melissa bought her boyfriend sum candy and stuff for easter too..then me and meliss took sum pics of us in one of those photo booths to send them down to shayne..it was really cute we had one where we smiled and 3 where we made silly faces...i liked them...then mary shaynes step mom send all tha stuff out to him...she sent him a whole bunch of stuff too...i no hes gunna love it

dont have much more to update on and pizze done...peace out

im slackin
i havnt updated in so long...everytym i would come on tha website and be lyk eh i dont feel lyk typin right now...but i finally got a chance to update...not lyk theres much to update on..lol
last weekend was tha gayest weekend ever...friday came and i had to work 3-9..and afta i was tired and everything so u jus went home and slept...then on saturday i was susposed to work 9-4 but it was snowing soooo much out that they sent ppl home and i went home at lyk 1..that sucked cus i needed tha hours...but w/e then saturday night cus of tha snow i was stuck in tha house AGAIN!! which sux but it was good i got to spend alotta tym talkin to my baby on tha phone :) we stayed on tha phone til lyk 2 in tha mornin so i was happy...then sunday i talked to shayne on tha phone til lyk 2 and went to work til 7..i did alot with my weekend..huh? it was all good tho cus i got to talk to my baby alot so i was fine with it. i miss shayne so much its not even funny...i really hate not bein able to see him...he might get to come home for tha whole week of my prom and graduation...i will be soo happy if he does cus including weekends he'll be home for lyk 10 days...that excites me so much...if he doesnt get tha leave i have no idea who im gunna go to prom wit or if i'll even go at all
school hasnt been that bad lately i guess..its jus been goin by really slow now that were so close to bein done...we have lyk 43 days left or sum shizzy lyk that...i jus want it to be ova and done with...then college..woohoo!!
i wanna be 18 so bad...i wanna be able to make my own choices and do wateva i wanna do...sept needs to come fast! everyone says that bein 18 isnt all that its cracked up to be..but for me it will be...it'll be lyk freedom..lol i hate that i feel lyk such an adult but ne thing i do i hafta ask my mom first...thats so gay its not even funny.
2day i went out wit katie afta school and i was in jus tha mood to make fun of ppl so everyone that pissed me off i would make comments back to them..and i went to pay my taxes and this old lady was rude to me so when i was leavin i made a rude comment back to her..and then at tha nail salon..there were two ppl there who me and katie are not to found of im not gunna say ne names tho...but i was jus sittin there makin so many jokes bout them..it was made funny...i was doin it to everyone..it was really funny

i love how sum bitch is tryin to say that im a bitch for stealin her man from her...meaning shayne...back lyk a yr ago...bitch you cant steal sumthin that was never yours and mine in tha first place....you jus jealous that u were sweatin him and he choose to be with me actually he didnt choose to be wit me ova you...HE WAS NEVER WITH YOU!!!...you need to learn that your and ugly nastey bitch and no mad will ever want you...(so that no rumors or ne thing get started this girl is from canton)

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: going crazy - natalie

Advertisement